Jop Top

Hey Fam, this is the first e-mail from Joplin. HIstorical. 

The beginning of the week consisted of Elder Harding and I having our bitter farewells with all of the people in Rolla. It was quite the bummer to leave. On Thursday we headed out and I hopped on the bus to Joplin.

Oh, I forgot to tell you guys that Elder Hansen is training this transfer, so I am officially a mission grandpa. I feel so old and frail. I got a picture, but Elder Hansen is slacking and didn't send it to me, so I'll have to gently chastise him.

Joplin is sweet, There isn't a whole ton going on right now, so Elder Reed and I are working on finding peeps that want to be baptized. So far so good. We went tracting for the first time in a while. We actually had a couple good conversations, so that was cool. It's pretty nice being in the city again. We have all of the shopping places and everything! Including a Panda Express. It's good times.  

Okay, now I remember the funny story I was going to tell you guys. It took me forever to think of it. I was complaining to Elder Reed about it just a few minutes ago. So here's what happened. On Friday night, we went to the church to pick up milk that I had left there. (It's complicated.) While we were walking down the hall we heard this mysterious synth piano music going. I thought for a moment we had stepped through a wormhole to the 1980s. When we got to the gym, we saw a large group of YSAs gathered for what appeared to be a talent show of sorts. We decided it was in our best interests to watch for a bit. Daft Punk dude finished up, and then they said the YSA sisters would be following the next act so we had to stay for that. Then there was this dude that had the grown-up version of those light up shoes and did a sweet robo dance. Then we were going to leave and someone decided that the Elders should do something. Luckily, we were prepared. I told a few jokes to get the crowd warmed up. One of them was about a parrot. Then Elder Reed and I proceeded to tell "our mission story." I don't think I told you guys about it. Maybe some of you. I'm not sure. It's about when Elder Reed and I were together in Bentonville. 

So we were on exchanges. I was in Sugar Creek with Elder Reed and he had this appointment waaay out in the boons in a scary trailer park. Not home. Right around this time, President instituted this thing called "clover tracting" where if an appointment falls through you go knock a couple doors in the neighborhood. So we did. One friendly guy, one no answer, and one reeeaallly ghetto creepy looking trailer that we both non-verbally agreed to save for last. So we walked up to the door and immediately I get that icky feeling that we shouldn't knock this door. But I'm trying to set a good example by being a hardcore fearless district leader, so we went up anyway. We knock. We knock twice... All of his dogs are barking and looking out the window. We're about to leave when we see a guy through the window coming towards the door. He answers and lets us in. Elder Reed and I walk in and sit on the couch, and the guy says something about putting his dogs out and tells us to sit down. At this point, I am starting to feel panicky, because it's just about as scary inside as it is outside, except now we're inside so it's actually scary. The guy comes back and talks to us for a minute about where we're from, and I ask to use the restroom, thinking I can say a prayer or something and feel better. He tells me where it is so I go in. After a minute of sitting and thinking I hear "YOU GUYS ARE MORMONS?!" From the front room. It was a good thing I was already in the bathroom. 

I open the door to see what's going on and Elder Reed is running for the bathroom with trailer man in hot pursuit. I let him in and lock the door. Then realize that we are stuck in this man's bathroom and he is clearly not very happy with us being there. Then salvation.

A window. 

Elder Reed is small and I am fat, so he goes first. The guy is banging on the door and trying to get in while yelling profanities and Elder Reed is wriggling out the window. He gets clear and I'm next so I go for it. I'm about halfway through the window when the guy breaks in the bathroom. At this point I'm basically crying, Elder Reed is trying to pull me out and trailer man is pulling my leg. 

Just like I'm pulling yours. 

See isn't that funny? We're so funny. We got some good laughs from the peeps. So I'm going to drop out of college and be a stand-up comedian basically. 

Well it's good times here in Joplin. I love y'allses! 

the Boehme's from Rolla

Keep it real guys. 

Bandit Hats. 

Elder Christopher Drake